


terrified

by theforceasleep



Category: Bloodline (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen, Spoilers for Season 1, a hard case of the feelings, i feel so ben mendelsohn attacked right now, i liked danny so much :(, im sorry, very choppy writing but i thought it matched his thoughts at that moment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 10:11:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7636195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theforceasleep/pseuds/theforceasleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe he could have been a better father. He should have been a better father.</p>
            </blockquote>





	terrified

He’s terrified when she shows him the pregnancy test. He’s terrified when she starts puking into the toilet a moment later. Not much would faze Danny Rayburn, but here he was losing his shit over knocking a woman up.  


They weren’t even together anymore, in whatever sense that they were together in the first place.  


He wants to be sick. The disgusting baby pink of the Miami bathroom, like pepto bismol only furthers the claustrophobia.

 

But instead he pats Eve on the back and grabs the cigarette packet from his jeans pocket, stepping outside to light up. To smoke his anxiety away.  


Well, he tries to anyway.

 

It’s not working.  


Fuck.  


He’s panicking.

 

A kid. His kid. Her kid. A kid. No, his kid.

 

But is it his kid?

 

He doesn’t know.

 

_He’ll see Nolan 3 years later and double take. He looks like him. He’ll see him again when Nolan is 13. He has no doubts._

 

Three cigarettes down. Eve isn’t being sick anymore. He wonders if he can face her again.

 

Fuck. He should have used condoms. Did her pill fail. It must have. She didn’t want kids. Well, that’s what she told him.

 

He wants a beer. And to run away. But maybe he shouldn’t. Don’t parents try for their kids. Oh fuck, he doesn’t want to be his father. He can’t do this. He wants to be sick again. He thinks back to his childhood, all happy smiles, but they all lied. He didn’t want to lie to his kid.

 

_But he will. Nolan will resent him. But then he will be dead. And he can never say sorry._

 

He’s gonna try.

  
“How can I help you, what can I do”, he says crouching in front of a swaying Eve.

  
He’s gonna go to her appointments, he’s gonna pay for them, for the tests. He’ll do what he can, even if it means doing bad things. This is his life now.

 

_But then he’s gonna be dead, and he can never say sorry._

  
“Do you want me to abort?” she asks.

 

“No, it’s your choice.”

  
“Okay.” 

  
He tells his parents. They’re not happy. But they help. Robert sends checks every month. Sally doesn’t know. She thinks Eve aborted. But 7 months later Danny is holding Nolan in his arms. He feels... guilty?

 

Years later Nolan lashes out. Destroys everything of his father's.  


Danny understands, but it tears him up inside. He never kept his promise.  


_But then he’s gonna be dead, drowned in the sea, and he can never say sorry again and again and again._

 

As he lays dying, drowning, he thinks of Nolan. Maybe he could have been a better father. He should have been a better father.

**Author's Note:**

> Danny deserved better.
> 
> http://mendelsons.tumblr.com/


End file.
